Worry-Free Wednesday One thing I notice with myself and with clients is that once we decide we want something in life often an obstacle emerges that says "Are you sure you really want this?" I call this the Universal Double Check. Let me give a few examples. You decide to end a relationship. You are very happy with your decision even though making this change might be a difficult adjustment. You are moving forward quite contently when your ex contacts you and says they want another chance. You suddenly begin considering changing your mind and going back into a relationship that you were previously happy to leave. This is the Universal Double Check saying "Are you sure about this?" You decide to leave your job. You have not been happy there and find a new job that seems to be an improvement. You give your notice to your boss. A few days later your boss comes back and says "We have decided to offer you a raise and a new office if you will stay." Suddenly you are filled with doubt and wonder if leaving is a mistake and if it would not be better to take your bosses offer. Universal Double Check. The Universe is saying "Hey, you wanted to leave these conditions but maybe you will compromise on what you want ... maybe you aren't that serious after all?" I have one I am dealing with personally right now. I slacked off on my exercise program for a few months and about a month ago I decided to really get back into it and it has been going well. Then over the past few days my knees have started hurting. It makes me wonder if I will be able to keep up my exercise regimen and if I might not end up injuring myself more if I continue. This is the Universal Double Check saying "Hey Nikki, I know you decided to get back into strength training but are you sure? It might be hard and it might cause difficulties. Are you sure you want to bother with this thing you committed yourself to?" The best way to handle the Universal Double Check is to look over all your options. In my case do I want to stop working out? Definitely not! Would it be wise to look at ways to prevent further knee problems? Yes! That might be modified form or making small changes to my workouts while allowing my knees to heal. I am not saying to keep going onward and completely ignore the message of the Universal Double Check. I am saying use that message to strengthen your resolve and keep moving forward. In the relationship example maybe this is a chance to further decide what it is exactly you want in your relationships and to discuss that with your ex. It doesn’t mean you need to never talk to that person again or that you need to get back together. But if you decided you deserve to be treated better and then return to a situation where a person has repeatedly wronged you that is not a strengthening of resolve. In the job example perhaps it means making a counter to your new job offer. Or maybe it means discussing with your current boss the true reasons you are leaving. If you decide to leave a job because of a difficult or negative work environment a small raise is not going to change that. Strengthen your resolve to the original decision and see what your options are with the Universal Double Check. There are times when clients come to me and say “I thought I was making the right decision but now the Universe is sending me messages that I decided wrongly.” This is especially common with breakups but it can happen with anything. The fact that the Universe is checking with them about whether or not they are sure about a decision they made is misinterpreted as a sign that they made the wrong choice. This can happen with anyone but is especially common with individuals who have some self-doubt or are constantly worrying about what might go wrong in their lives. In these cases I explain my theory about the Universal Double Check and we discuss the various options presented in their specific situation. By utilizing the Universal Double Check as an opportunity to rephrase and strengthen resolve on any given issue instead of an opportunity to give up we are proving to the Universe, and to ourselves, that we have what it takes. We have tenacity. We have perseverance. We will stay committed to that which we have chosen. This is the next step in getting the result you want from the decision you made in the first place. So there is no need to worry or second guess your choices. Use your energy to figure out how to maintain your resolve, even if you must modify your approach. You made the decision for a reason. Trust yourself. What do you think about this? Has it happened to you?
2 Comments
Nanette
1/10/2018 10:04:20 am
I like it - a stronger and more affirming term than 'second guessing'!
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